Here we go with a new kind of crazy posts. It was just one of those days where things appear evident and I thought I could do a “controlled” experiment: A sort of cross-over photo novel fanfiction. Will it be more coherent than Dr Jin and its pickled baby? Let me know in the comments!
Both shows have a superb OST. Pick your poison and enjoy the ride!
Part 1 - Once upon a time in Seoul…
It always starts with a time capsule…
[For the palm trees in Seoul, blame the global warming or the radiations.]
and with people drinking flower wine. Weirdos!
Later on, in a secret Resistance base of South Korea (because you know, World War means global), Gil Ra-im is training to be ready for the Judgement Day. She is totally unaware of the fact than she is about to meet the most handsome guy on Earth aka her future boss. And they say you must keep separate job and private life? Pfft.
I mean, seriously… Resist Skynet all you want but such a level of smexiness? Now, what nobody knows except me: Kim Joo-won is the new secret identity of John Connor, who was once a troublesome teenager. You don’t believe me? I will prove it to you.
At Joo-won’s house. I would say it’s a very bad omen.
But it’s just a gut feeling…
Meanwhile, elsewhere in Seoul:
I would reply “depends on who’s asking.” Door’s handle battle! Who will win?
At the same moment at Joo-won’s house. When you start hallucinating on people you didn’t meet yet…
Or on persons who are dead… (Must be a genetic problem.)
The encounter between Mr “
Savior of the world” now called “Lot of Money” and his future wife could be qualified as a meet-cute: They soon find themselves stuck in a shabby motel Presidential Suite and start to chat and fall in love. History repeats itself? You bet it does!
As we all know, cyborgs love to steal things from people. That’s one of the childhood traumas of our older
John Joo-won: He has become a clothes kleptomaniac like his former protector. The door is barely shut than he starts trying her bra…
then her socks…
Then her shirt. I’m sure the leather pants are next. (Sorry, this blog is PG 13.)
While our couple is frolicking, a strange guy is roaming in town.
How to know who’s the real girl? Hit both with something.
If it goes “splash!”, then it’s not the girl.
We finally meet the real baddie of the story: That eccentric lady pretends she is
John Joo-won’s mother but she’s just a lunatic (a REAL one) who lost her kid in a tragic elevator accident years ago. She’s doing a transfer on that poor John Joo-won, who has really more important problems on his plate right now: Like saving the world and courting the girl he likes. Her fashion sense is a new kind of crime against humanity and when she opens her mouth, this is what happens:
Let me think. Maybe we should take her in the team?
That’s her motto, not mine: I have no patience.
Back to the hotel – Joo-won keeps telling the story of his life to his new crush (he doesn’t know she knows who he is): He is a wanted man who has to live in a bunker under maximum security.
He also has a team of bodyguards. Sexy ones. Sharing is caring?
Basically, he has big trust issues.
Just to be sure…
Because of a certain event, he became claustrophobic and has random panic attacks in elevators.
Or maybe it was THAT which scarred him for life. Perverts!
He doesn’t use escalators either anymore. He basically hates everything which looks like a treadmill: It’s a taboo word for all his acquaintances.
He lost his beloved dog when he was 13 and needed years of therapy to overcome his depression.
But the worst blow was when his cousin which was also his best friend was jailed for a crime he didn’t commit then was found dead in his cell.
He had left LA years ago to start a new life from scratch and soon after arriving in Seoul he became the CEO of a Department Store. “Easy Money” is his specialty.
Things happened. Again. Darn it! That was his first bike when he was a kid. A bit of respect!
He bought an orange motorbike when he was a teenager but it was crushed by accident. A stupid truck of doom or something.
Hopefully, since he is not the kind of guy who gives up, he bought a new one when he reached his majority.
His mom tried to teach him camouflage but as a rebellious teenager he decided than the best way to hide was to be obvious…
And outrageous. Do reverse psychology works with cyborgs? I don’t know, I’ve never met one. As far as I know.
“You could say my young years were interesting. By the way, did you read that funny story in the newspapers? A guy proposed to lend his arm as a pillow to his girlfriend…”
I know, it scares the shit out of me too, every time!
“OK, that was a silly joke. Here, a hug!”
“I’ve had the best teacher when it comes to hugs…”
The next morning – “Still angry? You will feel better with a stomach full of milk.”
“Just avoid the carton…”
“And drink from the bottle.”
After breakfast they decide to leave the room and take a stroll for fresh air.
It’s a bad idea.
A very bad idea.
“You couldn’t say you were a good guy when we first met? MORON!” ↑
“I hate when people scream around me.”
Gil Ra-im manages to escape but finds herself with bruises and cuts everywhere.
Joo-won looking at a picture: “Funny. My mom had a scar at the same place. The more I look at you, the more I think you’re like her.” A mama boy? Oh boy!
The T800 decides to use his sewing skills which are a bit… Rusted. Stitch by stitch. Cautiously. It’s not like she’s going to be Miss Korea or something.
Come on guys, it’s not that bad! People are mean, I swear.
The T1000 loses its preys but soon finds his favorite mode of transportation. Must be the red and blue lights. Like for kids.
Gil Ra-im is admitted in a regular hospital so she can have plastic surgery for her scars. Then she decides to hunt instead of being hunted.
“Hasta la vista, oppa!”
Game over… For now.
3 months later:
Joo-won is not scared of flowers anymore (oops, I forgot to tell you that before) and proposes to his soulmate. Who agrees at one condition: “Uncle Bob” must be a witness at the city hall. Phew… Now, THAT is blackmailing!
“A storm is coming…” The coolest car to face the end of the world: A Jeep?
*** HAPPILY EVER AFTER (NOT) ***
Part 2 – Why we need a sequel, entitled “Lovers in Los Angeles”:
- Because a sequel to the Terminator franchise is inevitable. And since the last installments were not exactly successes, my concept is not that bad. They could even do product placement for micro-chips, bionic arms and guns. Not politically correct?
- Because the T saga does fan-service like no one else: Men naked guaranteed at the beginning of each movie. Never fails. Sisters in lust, UNITE!
- Gil Ra-im is now a world-class stunt woman and the sanctuary for action movies is Hollywood. (SHHHHTTTTTT! We all know than it’s a cover to establish the HQ of the Resistance).
- I also want to see if the T1000 and crazy fake mom-in-law can be a sustainable couple: Nothing can kill them so let’s hook them together. I’m almost sure a jealous T1000 would be awfully cute.
- Because I’m tired of Konglish/Engrish in Korean dramas. I want a mix of Spanish and Korean, spoken with an Austrian accent. Now, that would be classy.
- Because a bare T800 staring at you lovingly must be the most thrilling experience ever. I want my Terminator Rom-com!!
When it comes to life and love, are you:
- – - – - – - -
Legends never die. I thought about making this post for a long time. I’m a big fan of Science-Fiction movies of a certain Canadian director AND of dramas of a certain South Korean writer. Inevitably, my mind tends to do mash ups with things. I watched Secret Garden and the first 2 Terminator movies countless times. I could see patterns and common points between the 2 stories (like a strong female lead) but it was embroiled and complicated. While searching for material (pics and quotes), I discovered even more coincidences (for example, there is a psychiatrist in both universes but they are completely opposed characters). I don’t believe in coincidences but I DO believe in time travel. We’ll never know who stole the ideas of who: Maybe BOTH the scriptwriters stole their ideas in my past… ^^
I hope James Cameron and Kim Eun-sook have a strong sense of humor. Wait, I KNOW they are funny and I LOVE them. [Just in case, I'm not in the phone book, I move every 2 months and a PS surgeon has redone my face.]
You don’t feel the chemistry between those 2? I say let’s lock them in an elevator with paper, pencils and cameras. *Evil laugh*
If they would write a script together it would be largely more hysterical than what I did here and much more interesting than all the **** produced these days.
Also, for my defense, others have made fun of those 2 fantastic fantasy worlds WAY before me:
When you’re the victim of a parody, you know you’ve achieved something.
Finally, as they say, “take responsibility for your actions!” My friends, you made me what I am now: The creature always turns against its creator. I know a mad scientist (the one with the name of a pricey vacuum brand) and a crazy mother-in-law (worst than all the angry cyborgs of the world) who learnt that lesson the hard way.
Disclaimer: A great part of the pictures for Secret Garden are shamelessly stolen from dramabeans. The others are from the WWW. I’m not going to earn a cent with that post but if one pic is yours and the idea of sharing bothers you, let me know.